A Procrastinator's Mentality
I remember shying away from writing my thoughts.
The bear blog, I'd initially started to chronicle ideas of mine, which I value so dearly so someone could find it a 100 years after I'm dead and gone.
But soon, it became an online space to vent and rant.
And as I look closer into this venting and ranting space, the pattern is same.
Self-victimisation, A deep question/examination of why I'm doing it wrong, and then a call to action to move on and change.
The story ends there.
No action, no work is done, no effort is put, and no body is changed.
The kal-chakra spins, and I stay in the same place.
I had read Tim Urban's beautiful article on procrastination (https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/11/how-to-beat-procrastination.html).
To say it defines me is an understatement.
As the weeks move on, time feels like it's moving faster. Each Monday begins, and I find myself going to bed on a Saturday. The rest of it is a blip in time.
But the work stays undone.
Pages of practice for the GRE left unfilled, miles not run and the work is still undone.
Mike Tyson had said 'Everyone has a plan until they're punched in th face.'
Well, I don't even seem to be getting into the ring.
And there are three parts to this issue.
- The Work: I don't allocate the time, I procrastinate and I assign labels to postpone it for another day.
- The Self: I diagnose, I motivate and leave it there.
- The Screen: The attention economy is like cocaine for me.
I found it really funny that day.
I looked at my phone, and noticed the screen time was more than an hour, made up my mind to reduce screen time and switched to my laptop.
That's just comical.
I think the future only awaits to those who put in the work, and as the weeks go on, with this mentality, I don't think I'm one of them.
It isn't too late, but the window shortens.
A lesson to burn into: Don't diagnose your thougts, look at your actions.