My Mortality.
I introspect, a lot. However, the spur of this comes from a combination of reading/listening to biographies and watching an anime, To Your Eternity.
It drives me insane as I reflect over myself in the past. The way I have hurt people, the way I’ve spoken shit to people and disrespected those dear to me (particularly, my mom). I am disappointed with my behavior in failing to take myself seriously. To frolic and spend so much time doing nothing, while the world around me is shaped by multiple factors.
To do nothing to help the immediate world and the next layer of people while I could. I am ashamed. I am disappointed.
How do I be a better son? A better friend? A better brother? A better partner? How can I add value to all of their lives, is it just empathy?
It’s to treat them as humans.
Dad says he wants to live for another 15 years (jokingly), Mom has started reflecting too. I might live for another half century. We all have sparing moments with each other. Each moment an investment in another.
Let’s cherish it.