Paranoia Beckons
The saga of Manju mama has finally come to a close yesterday.
And to celebrate that, we bought Pizza 4ps (courtesy Shrishti and her cousins), no clue why she's pissed though because I didn't speak to her brothers?
But anyhow, after a whole week of manju mama we finally convinced him to leave last Sunday. He'd given us a beautiful treat at Sattvam and gave us some money to spend on! In all honesty, we bad-mouthed him a lot. And some of it was warranted, I'd say we were a bit too harsh. Hearing his story really did change our perspective on him a lot. Sure, he's loud and talks too much about himself and really eats your head, but that's a consequence of the life he's lived. And it isn't really a poetic one either.
144th rank in IIT, peers all accomplished. Raghuram Rajan, his batchmate (IIT-Delhi tho), all in the grasp of his hands. Yet he drops out to join Isckon. I will never forgive Isckon for ruining his life. And the fact that he doesn't blame Isckon even a bit screams to me the fact that Isckon is a cult. They don't worship Krishna, neither do they live by his words. It's a cult for that Prabhupada and a cabal conquered by that Madhupandit Das.
It's truly sad. And to hear how is family is living? I was honest when I said I really didn't want to be him. I hope my trajectory doesn't go along that route. I will have to put more efforts.
But yeah, I think that sequence of events really brought me, mum and supra closer. United against a common enemy (/j), but it was real fun.
I've gotten a new frame, I feel I'm looking sexier (hahaha). It's Cheetah print so you know I'm feeling like Stanley Tucci. I don't know why but I feel as I grow older I'm going to become desi Stanley Tucci. And if I'm complimeneted so, oh boy I will pay them a million dollars.
I've started to plan my week, plan my days and act on it. Today was Day 1 and it was a partial success. Last Sunday, I sat and chronicled a bunch of to-dos to complete at the end of the week. And I guess I'm on track, 1/7th of the way there!
Today I also finally went to the temple to see Maa Kali. As usual she was gorgeous, and I could see signs that she was glad to see me. Traffic was clear, no signals and I had a good day today. So you know she wanted me to drop-by :) But on the bright side, I got recognized as a local too!
The purohit greeted me saying, how was your day and what + where your duty is! I felt like a temple local and was offered Peda by the temple ajji. Oh man, I'm so, so happy for this. This really was the highlight of my dad (ahahahaha). They treat me as one of them!
I'm registering for the CFA tomorrow. And will commit to a GRE day once I get my salary in May. It's getting serious here and I want to commit to my future. Take myself seriously. Dressing well (bought new undies) and planning my day are a part of it, but so is also building steps to a longer future. I've started GRE prep, but I'm disappointed by how dumb I am in mathematics. I spoke to mom and dad about it, and their re-assurances were the same -- practice makes man perfect. If you get it wrong 3 times, try 5. If wrong 5 times, try 10. Sooner or later, you'll get it. And they're right. I know it too. But I just needed to hear it from somebody. To hear that they've been through the same and hear what they did, and what I need to do is the same. Put more effort.
I still feel dumb, but I know what I have to do. I need more effort. I'm kind of worried as I see the people around me. Saving more, investing more and well-planned. I'm afraid of being left behind of being deemed mediocre. But I've started to take steps. To move ahead. To invest in myself.
Dressing well, planning my dad, bearing more responsibility. Discipline, self-control and cosnsitency. I'm trying to bring them in me. I want to be a man that my parents can be proud of. To do that this year, is to score 335+ in GRE and crack CFA L1.