The Veil of Dopamine
I hadn't scrolled Instagram for quite a while (>4-5 hours).
I'd grayscaled my phone for over three hours.
It seemed great.
And now right before I fall asleep, I logged onto Instagram.
It was palpable.
The surge of dopamine, the bright colours, the temptations all just glittering out there.
It felt pathetic.
In front of me, a reel made by someone, solely to consume.
Pathetic.
Another attempt to sell me stuff, yet another souless product, sold by a model wearing revealing clothing and the camera zooming towards the same.
Pathetic.
The colours, the undertones of pink, yellow and orange, just invite you to select a button and look at what someone is doing.
To feel rewarded over the next scroll.
Deep down, I know I won't sleep well.
But I'm glad I had such a visceral reaction.
I'm glad I felt like throwing up looking at the bright colours.
I'm glad that I had the opportunity to look at something so fake, it just seemed pathetic.
I feel like I'm done with that shit.